SINCE THE AGE OF APRX 18 YEARS ON OBSERVING A HUMAN CELEBRITY I HAVE GENERALLY GOT OVEREXCITED AND FELT A DESIRE TO STOP AND CONVERSE WITH THEM EXPERIENCING VARYING DEGREES OF SUCCESS
WHILST HOLIDAYING IN THE SUBCONTINENT OVER THE PAST 7 MONTHS I HAVE WITNESSED 5 A LIST STARS
SHAHRUKH KHAN
THE INDIAN EQUIVALENT OF BRAD PITT WHO BASICALLY IGNORED AND BARGED PAST ME AND SPENT THE NEXT HOUR CHARMING A YOUNG SCANTILY CLAD FEMALE SWEDISH TOURIST LYING ON A NEARBY SUNBED
DEEPIKA PADUKONE
THE INDIAN EQUIVALENT OF ANGELINA JOLIE ACTUALLY KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK AND SIGNED MY RED GINGHAM CHECK UNDERWEAR USING MY SHARPIE® FINE POINT PERMANENT MARKER WHICH I HAVE NEITHER WASHED NOR TAKEN OFF FOR OVER A MONTH NOW
SACHIN TENDULKAR
THE RETIRED INDIAN BATSMAN DEMIGOD WHO WAS INAUDIBLE IN HIS REPLY AS HE WAS ALSO SURROUNDED BY APRX 3297142 DERANGED INDIAN CRICKET FANS WILDLY CHANTING HIS NAME
NARENDRA MODI
THE LEADER OF THE BJP AND SOON TO BE THE 16TH INDIAN PRIME MINISTER OR LOK SABHA ACCUSED OF GENOCIDE IN 2002 WHO I MANAGED TO HIT SQUARELY IN THE FACE AND LIPS WITH A ROTTEN TOMATO BEFORE BEING ARRESTED THROWN IN PRISON AND VICIOUSLY BEATEN UP
ROBERT PLANT
HOLIDAYING IN GOA ROCK LEGEND AND FORMER LED ZEP FRONT MAN AND I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT DRINKING AND INTO THE NEXT DAY AND THE DAY AFTER THAT ALTHOUGH I CANT FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER WHAT WE CHATTED ABOUT
I AM EXACTLY THE SAME WITH TONY/IS
NOT THE STAYING UP ALL NIGHT DRINKING BUT HAVING THE NEED TO STOP AND SAY HELLO AND PAT THEM PROVIDED THEYRE NOT TOO SMELLY AND DONT HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF SCABS
IT CAN TAKE ME UP TO 4 HOURS TO GET TO THE CORNER SHOP WHICH IS ONLY APRX 5 MINUTES AWAY SOMETIMES AS THE CANIS LUPUS FAMILIARIS ARE ALMOST AS NUMEROUS AS COWS IN INDIA
THIS PARTICULAR TONY WAS DEEP IN RAPID EYE MOVEMENT SLEEP DREAMING OF HIS FAVOURITE DINNER SO WAS NON TOO PLEASED WHEN I WOKE HIM UP TO PAT HIM AND TOLD ME IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS TO GO AWAY BEFORE HEADING OFF TO SLEEP AGAIN TO DREAM OF HIS PREFERRED EVENING MEAL
UNCONNECTED CANINE FACT
WHEN THE EARTHS MAGNETIC FIELD IS CALM CANIS LUPUS FAMILIARIS PREFER TO URINATE AND DEFECATE WITH THEIR BODIES ALIGNED ON A NORTH TO SOUTH AXIS
ITS TOTALLY TRUE
PATNEM BEACH / CANACONA / GOA / INDIA
INTERFAUNA 