I AM CURRENTLY DJING EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT AT LEOPARD VALLEY DOING THE MAIN 12AM TO 3 AM SLOT TO A PACKED AUDIENCE OF APRX 2149 CRAZED PSYCHOTIC DRUG RIDDLED DISCO RAVERS
LEOPARD VALLEY MAY HAVE BEEN A LEOPARD VALLEY ONCE UPON A TIME BUT NOW IT IS SOUTH GOAS PREMIER FRIDAY OUTDOOR NIGHTCLUB VENUE NORMALLY PLAYING A MIX OF HAPPY HOUSE AND GOAN TRANCE
WHO THE HELL LIKES GOAN TRANCE
I LANDED THE JOB QUITE ACCIDENTALLY AFTER FALLING OVER 1 NIGHT AND CRASHING INTO THE DJ BOOTH AFTER SOMEONE HAD HEINOUSLY SPIKED MY COLD BOTTLE OF LIMCA WITH A STRAW WITH SOMETHING OR OTHER
IN A BIZARRE CHAIN OF EVENTS DURING MY MISHAP I MANAGED TO UNPLUG THE DJS NOW DAMAGED iPHONE 4S FURTHERMORE WITH ALL THE CONFUSION AND MOANS AND GROANS FROM THE IRRITABLE REVELLERS THE DECIDEDLY AVERAGE DJ MADE AN ERROR OF JUDGEMENT AND PICKED UP MY SIMILARLY DAMAGED iPHONE 4S WHICH HAD FALLEN FROM MY POCKET AND PLUGGED IT INTO THE SOUND SYSTEM
THE IMPATIENT HECKLING IRATE CROWD SOON CHANGED THEIR TUNE WHEN THEY HEARD MY TUNE
THE ORIGINAL 1977 5 MINUTE 55 SECOND LONG DISCO VERSION OF I FEEL LOVE BY DISCO DANCING DIVA DONNA SUMMER
THE PROMOTER DETECTED THE CROWDS EUPHORIA AND REALISED THAT IT WAS MY MUSIC PLAYING AND IMMEDIATELY OFFERED ME A CONTRACT TO DJ UNTIL THE END OF THE SEASON FOR 2 LAK RPS A NIGHT AND ALL THE COLDEST BOTTLES OF LIMCA I CAN DRINK
THIS MAJESTIC APRX 4 POINT 5 MONTH OLD LEOPARD BINOMIALLY KNOWN AS PANTHERA PARDUS HAD BEEN HUMANELY TRAPPED AND WAS SPENDING 3 DAYS IN CAPTIVITY AT THE COTIGAO WILDLIFE SANCTUARY TO BE MEASURED WEIGHED GPS TAGGED SPOTS COUNTED FED HEARTY MEALS PATTED AND BELLY STROKED
SOMEHOW I DONT BELIEVE SHED LIKE FRIDAYS AT LEOPARD VALLEY
NEVERTHELESS CONTINUING WITH MY NEW DJ CAPACITY HERES THE CURRENT LEOPARD VALLEY CHART BREAKDOWN OF THE BEST PANTHERA PARDUS ATTRIBUTES
10 FRIENDLY PLAYFUL DEMEANOUR
9 TOP SPEED 58 KPH/36 MPH
8 WHITE GOATEE BEARD
7 LEOPARD PRINT FUR
6 LARGE GREEN EYES
5 EXTRA LONG WHISKERS
4 FLUFFY FURRY EARS
3 SOFT WET NOSE
2 BIG HAIRY PAWS
1 POKING OUT TONGUE
SHES BEING LET OUT TOMORROW TO RUN WILD AND FREE AND FIND HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS
I FEEL LEOPARD LOVE
COTIGAO WILDLIFE SANCTUARY / CANACONA / GOA / INDIA
INTERFAUNA 